Beliefs in the women workforce that NEED to change
As a woman working in STEM, I often reflect on what success means to me. It doesn’t take too long to realize that women do not view just money and position as an exclusive marker of success. We value professional camaraderie, quality of life, the impact of our work on others and excellent time management.
This instinct of self-sacrifice and accentuating others can have a dark side to it. The world around us has ingrained an unconscious bias based on gender stereotypes. It is an ugly fact — when being considered for promotions, women are more likely to be evaluated based on their ‘contributions’, while men are judged based on their ‘potential’ which is a baseless criteria.
Our beliefs often create a rationale for how we behave and offer us logical reasons to ‘not change’. The women psyche is programmed to have a different set of core beliefs, which when repeated over time can turn into habits. You then assume these habits to become an intrinsic part of who you are — and that needs to change.
Belief 1 : Ambition is a bad thing.
Women at top positions are inadvertently subject to being called ‘too ambitious’ which is a nebulous description. There’s no reason ambition must be viewed as arrogant, trustworthy or self-centered.
In fact, you must carve time out to celebrate the skills, talents, attitudes, and behaviors that have brought you to where you are.
Belief 2 : Being a good person means not disappointing others.
Our sensitivity to subtle cues sometimes can work against us at the workplace. We tend to worry more about our perceived faults, we constantly berate ourselves and exaggerate our mistakes which can be counterproductive.
During an instance of negative feedback, ask for specific examples instead of dismissing it as absurd!
Belief 3 : Women should be role models for other women.
This belief needs to be rewired so that a woman’s decisions and setbacks stop being scrutinized through the role model lens. Apart from juggling every aspect of family and career, calculating personal decisions based on how others will interpret them only adds an unnecessary burden.
The solution is rather simple : A woman should be free to make all her personal and professional decisions without being under a perpetual scanner.
The key to changing these beliefs is realizing that our habits aren’t our personalities. Below are few of the many ways in which we can bring about these changes in our workforce :
Habit 1 : Start with identifying your purpose.
With years of experience in you career and interacting with all kinds of people, you learn to be very precise on what you hope to achieve. Concisely articulating and writing down a statement of purpose can help you towards analyzing what can or cannot aid you in achieving your goals.
Habit 2 : Enlist allies to build new habits.
You will be surprised at how people around you are willing to help out. Seek out a colleague, friend or mentor to govern your positive behavioral changes. Having an external perspective on your rationale and seeking out alternate solutions together can only contribute to your growth mindset.
Habit 3 : Let go of judgement.
It is crucial to stop judging yourself when you fall short of your own perceived expectations. This self-limiting behavior can hinder you from uncovering your full potential. Stop second-guessing everything you set out to do and underestimating you progress.
Focus on learning and identifying your strengths instead.
Habit 4 : Create a ‘to-don’t’ list.
Just as it sounds, create a list of items and actions (small and big) you would like to let go of. When you identify activities that are too time-consuming, offer minimal reward and keep you trapped, you will not have to think twice before saying ‘no’ the next time.
It’s important to actively work towards building these habits in order to rewire your brain to support these new thought patterns. In the end, breaking these barriers and truly exploring what’s beneath the surface can result in an encouraging work environment.
I was inspired to write this article after reading Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith’s book — “How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion or Job”.
There are many more anecdotes from this book that I’d like to reflect on in future articles.
